


Too Long

by letek



Series: New Q [1]
Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-Nemesis, mentions of borg trauma, post-first contact, probably not canon compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:13:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26169988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letek/pseuds/letek
Summary: A lot has happened for Picard and Q since the last time they've seen each other. Circumstances outside of their control have forced them to change. The result of those changes end up having a profound effect on their acquaintanceship.
Relationships: Jean-Luc Picard/Q
Series: New Q [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1900426
Comments: 8
Kudos: 46





	Too Long

**Author's Note:**

> Obligatory explanation of canon noncompliance: I haven't seen Voyager so I don't know the time frame of everything going on with the Q and frankly I don't care. This is just an idea I had and, having only seen TNG, this is probably not going to be compliant with the timeline of the Q civil war and whatever else happened in Voyager. Just a heads up. I'm assuming you don't care all that much and you just want to read a Qcard fic, so I will stop babbling. Please enjoy.

Jean-Luc had stayed on the bridge well past his scheduled shift end time. Just before gamma shift was set to start, Lieutenant Commander Data told Picard that it would be wise for him to go to bed. Data explained that receiving an adequate amount of sleep was of the utmost importance for the captain of a starship. It was nearly 2300 hours and Picard didn’t want to argue with Data, not that there was anything to argue with him about- as always, the android was right. Reluctantly, he relinquished command to Data and made his way to the turbolift. Jean-Luc knew that he shouldn’t have stayed on shift for so long, that he needed rest, but being on the bridge kept his mind occupied. Recently, he had been doing everything he could to keep his thoughts from becoming focused on events he didn’t want to remember. It had almost been a year since the Borg nearly assimilated Earth. Everyone else seemed to be getting along just fine by now. Counselor Troi had told him that a majority of people were no longer coming to her in order to sort out their trauma from the experience. They had all recovered relatively well, except for him. Well, he was different. 

He was Locutus. 

Deanna said that, due to his past trauma compounded with his recent encounter with the Borg, his mental state would take longer to get under control than the others’. She had told him that from the beginning, and he knew she was right. He just didn’t think it would take _this_ long. It didn’t help that he stopped regularly scheduling appointments with Deanna. He hated talking about his emotions; it made him feel weak. He knew that he needed to talk to her, that he needed to confront his feelings, that he needed to sleep. He knew a lot of things. It simply came down to whether or not he could gather the courage to do what needed to be done. 

“Lights,” he called as he walked into his dark quarters. He jumped backwards as he noticed a person laying across his sofa. His heart rate lowered as his eyes adjusted to the light and he noticed exactly who the intruder was. He had a hard time believing that the sight in front of him was real. It had been so long. 

Picard approached the sofa, “Q, what are you- are you wearing my robe?” 

Q opened his eyes and looked at the captain, “I find it to be much more comfortable than those stuffy Starfleet uniforms.” He stood up and spun in a circle, “What do you think, Jean-Luc? Do I look as good in it as you do?” 

Picard shook his head and tried not to let Q see the smirk that was forming on his face, “I... think that you should go back to the uniform.” 

Q raised his eyebrows, “That bad, huh?” He snapped his fingers and was back into his typical, now-outdated, Starfleet command uniform. 

“Why are you here, Q? It’s been... a while.” 

“That’s exactly why, mon capitaine. I thought I would check up on my favorite pet.” 

“How thoughtful of you,” Picard went to the replicator for a cup of Earl Grey and walked back towards Q. “Something tells me that’s not the complete truth, though.” He motioned for Q to sit down on the couch as he sat on the chair in front of it. 

“Whatever would give you that idea?” 

“Well, you’ve never been one to make a social call, Q.” 

“Au contraire, that’s exactly what this is.” 

Picard raised his eyebrows as he took a sip of his tea, “I’m sure.” 

Neither of them said anything for a while. Picard was waiting for Q to elaborate, to incessantly chatter like he always did. He knew that the entity couldn’t stay quiet for too long. And he was right. 

“Okay, Jean-Luc, maybe there _are_ deeper reasons for my being here. But I didn’t lie when I said that this is a social call.” 

“So, what’s the deeper reason?” Picard was trying very hard to keep a stoic expression on his face. He would never let Q know that he was enjoying his company. In all honesty, this might be one of the first times that Q’s presence had been a welcome surprise. This was certainly another much-needed distraction for him. 

“I was bored,” Q said matter-of-factly. 

“That’s it? You’re bored? Can’t you just go build a planet and start a new civilization? Isn’t that what a being like you does in your free time?” 

“I can only do that so many times before it starts to become dull,” he looked into Jean-Luc's eyes and Picard noticed how lifeless they looked. This wasn’t the usual sharp and excited stare from Q; it was blank and dead. Picard began to get worried but he shoved that away. Why would he worry about Q? He wasn’t a friend. Well, not really. This was Q: the god-like being that could do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. He could certainly hold his own. He didn’t need a human to worry about him. Jean-Luc finally decided that he had been projecting his own internal feelings onto Q. 

“I’m sorry to hear that. Your life must be very difficult,” he teased. 

“Well, I was kicked out of the Continuum. Again.” 

Picard drew his eyebrows together, “What did you do this time?” 

“Nothing of major importance. They didn’t relinquish my powers, which should be enough of an indicator that it wasn’t a big deal.” 

“How long have you been banished?” 

Q snickered, “You should understand by now how much of an asinine question that is to ask a being such as myself, Jean-Luc.” 

Picard didn’t say anything. He knew that Q would respond with something to that effect. He also knew that Q would eventually give him the answer he wanted. 

“Long enough,” the entity looked past Picard’s head, not quite making eye contact. “Too long.” 

Picard felt a twinge of sadness for Q. He didn’t want to think about how much time “too long” meant for an immortal being. He couldn’t understand it but something in the entity’s eyes, in his entire demeanor, made Jean-Luc pity him. He knew that Q didn’t deserve the pity, nor did he believe that Q would appreciate it, but he couldn’t help it. 

“I’m sorry to hear that.” 

Q smirked, “There’s no need to lie to me, Jean-Luc. I know inside that tiny brain of yours you’re rejoicing the fact that I’ve been punished for my actions, yet again.” 

Picard thought for a moment, Q should be right. In the past, he would’ve been delighted to hear that Q had faced repercussions for being... well, for being Q. But now, he didn’t feel any of that. 

“I’m not lying, Q. I really am sorry to hear of your situation.” 

Q quickly raised his eyebrows and sat silently for a moment before speaking, “You know, I haven’t seen anybody since I’ve been banished. Obviously, I’m not allowed to see any other Q. But I’ve been alone this entire time.” 

Picard furrowed his brow, “Why seek out company now?” 

“I’ve been away from the Continuum for so long. I feel different. I’m lonely, Jean-Luc. To be a Q is to not embrace these primitive emotions. I tried to repress my loneliness for a long time but that stopped working... I don’t know if I’m really Q anymore.” 

Picard didn’t know how to respond to his confession. He knew that he should say something supportive or reassuring, but his curiosity got the better of him, “Why have you chosen me to be the first person you see?” 

A silence lingered between them as Q pondered his response. 

“Do you care about me, Jean-Luc? If this was the last time we ever saw each other, would you still think of me? Would you remember me fondly?” 

Picard didn’t know where all of this was coming from. He didn’t understand why Q would ask these questions- why Q was speaking so softly, so openly. He didn’t know how to handle this Q. Maybe the entity was right- he wasn’t a Q anymore.

Not knowing what to say, he stammered, “I- Q, I...” 

“That’s what I thought,” Q gave him a sad, knowing grin. 

Picard looked into Q’s eyes and he could feel the pain inside them. 

“No, that’s,” he shook his head, “Q, yes... I do. Care about you.” 

Q furrowed his brow, “Why are you acting so strange? This isn’t the Jean-Luc Picard I know.” 

“Funny, I was just thinking the same thing about you.” 

“I told you why I’ve changed. What happened to you?” 

Picard shrugged his shoulders and tried to put on his best nonchalant face, “Nothing.” 

Q raised his eyes at him; Jean-Luc could tell that he hadn’t fooled the entity. 

“How long has it been since the last time you saw me?” 

_Too long_ , Picard thought. He must’ve been stuck in his thoughts for a while because Q started to speak again. 

“You don’t look that much older than the last time I saw you. I’m guessing two, maybe three, years?” 

“Four,” Picard looked down at his tea. He thought back to the past four years of his life. It felt like he lived through an eternity since the last time he saw Q. He thought about how it was probably closer to an actual eternity since the last time _Q_ had seen _him_. 

Q looked surprised, “A lot can happen in four years, mon capitaine.” 

Jean-Luc looked up to find Q’s eyes examining him, “Nothing special.” 

“I can tell when you’re lying, Picard.” 

Jean-Luc took another sip of his tea. He thought this visit from Q would be an escape from his daily intrusive thoughts about the past year. Unfortunately for him, they seemed to be inescapable. 

“You know, I could just rummage through that pretty little head of yours and find out what happened for myself.” 

“Go ahead,” Picard thought that this would be a much better alternative than to actually talk about it. 

Q opened his mouth to say something but then closed it. Finally, he asked, “Are you sure?” 

Picard nodded, and Q looked at him warily. Suddenly, Jean-Luc could feel an outside presence in his mind. He could feel Q. He knew that Q had accessed his memories. He had found the ones Picard was trying to hide from everyone. But he wasn’t reliving those experiences, he wasn’t feeling any of the emotions that were attached to those memories. All he felt were the emotions that Q was feeling. He could sense the being’s loneliness, his vulnerability. He could also feel affection and happiness. He could feel just how much Q cared about him- how much he had always cared about him, from the beginning. Everything was all so overwhelming, but as quickly as it began, it ended. Picard felt a profound sense of loss as Q slipped out of his mind. He looked over at the entity and found his eyes to be full of anguish. 

“I’m sorry that happened, Jean-Luc. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help you.” 

Picard took a deep breath. He wasn’t used to Q being like this- so empathetic and honest. He couldn’t believe that the emotions he had just felt from Q were real. 

“It’s okay,” Jean-Luc stood up from his chair, walked over to the couch, and sat down right next to Q. The entity’s eyes widened and became filled with confusion. Picard rested his head against Q’s shoulder, yearning for the closeness that they had just shared. He didn’t know what had gotten into him- maybe it was because he knew that Q cared deeply about him and maybe it was because he discovered today that he also cared about Q. Those two revelations gave him the courage to be vulnerable. Both of them were silent for a long time. The hum of the ship and the warmth he felt from the physical contact with Q’s body made Jean-Luc calmer than he’d felt in years. 

Eventually, he told Q what was on his mind, “I liked feeling you inside me.” 

“Be careful how you say things, mon cher. You’re getting me excited now.” 

Picard raised his head from Q’s shoulder and looked at his devilish smirk. He playfully swatted Q’s thigh as he laughed. Perhaps he should have worded that a little more carefully. 

“You have a dirty mind, Q.” 

“I can’t help myself when I’m around you, Jean-Luc.” 

Picard smiled and turned his body to face Q, who mimicked his movement in turn. 

They looked into each other’s eyes for a moment before Picard hesitantly leaned in for a kiss. He felt Q smile as their lips touched. He brought his hands up to Q’s cheeks to savor the sensation before he finally pulled away. As he opened his eyes, he saw a look of absolute adoration etched onto Q’s face. 

They continued to look into each other’s eyes until Jean-Luc felt the exhaustion from his recent sleepless nights hit him all at once, “I’m tired. Can you stay here with me, inside my head, until I fall asleep?” 

“Anything for you, mon capitaine.” 

Q transported them into Picard’s bedroom. They situated themselves under the blankets, with Jean-Luc being embraced by Q’s arms. He could feel the entity inside his mind, pouring out feelings of affection and serenity. He smiled as he drifted off into a deep and dreamless sleep- the best he’d had in years. 


End file.
